Three Deer

In our family, we love deer. It is true my husband hunts them, but we give thanks for the food they provide and don't let any go to waste. The hunting isn't about the killing either. My husband could spend hours sitting in the woods, just watching the animals in their natural habitat. He sets up trail cameras to watch them, and we've viewed wonderful moments like a Momma dropping an apple on her baby's head to get it to eat. Really, deer are very special to us.

In fact, on our wedding day back in 2013, my husband and I were a little distracted, but all of our guests spotted three deer on the backside of the country estate in Nashville where we married,
watching over us on our special day. We felt blessed, and fancied they were my husband's late father, and my late aunt and grandfather.

Since then, we have decorated our home to show how we honor deer, to include a stuffed animal deer in my son's room, and crib sheets and deer portraiture in the baby's nursery.

Two weeks ago, when we traveled to Massachusetts to visit Hailey's grave for the first time since we buried her, my husband and I were both hoping for a sign of some sort that our daughter was with us. We were there, in part, for my husband to spend some time with Hailey before deploying halfway around the world. We each took our turns, laying facedown on her grave, bawling our eyes out as we tried to cradle her precious body in our arms despite the earth between us. I know I asked our guardian angel to watch over and protect her Daddy while he is in harm's way. I think my husband sneakily ordered Hailey to instead focus her attention on watching over me, our son and the baby in my belly back home.

We left this beautiful flower arrangement at Hailey's grave, lovingly and freely designed and provided

by an old high school classmate of mine. (I swear the photo doesn't do it justice, but I was already crying when I took it!). And then we prepared to leave. As I turned the car on and began to slowly drive away from our daughter's resting spot, I felt more than a little sad. I longed to feel Hailey close to me, to feel in some way that she was with us that day. There were a few hymns that I always used to play for her to help bring comfort: one was His Eye Is On the Sparrow. And so I'd kept my eye out for little birds that might land nearby. But really, in my heart of hearts, I'd wished to see majestic deer like the ones who had blessed our wedding day.

As I steered the car around the winding, paved alleyways that led out of the cemetery, a flicker of movement amid the tombstones ahead caught my eye. It was approaching 8 p.m., dark storm clouds were rolling in and I thought, surely it couldn't be! But just ahead, I spotted one deer. Then a second, and then a third. Our three deer! Elated, I called out and drew my husband's attention. He lit up, admitting to me he'd been hoping we'd see some deer near our daughter, just like I had. His father, my grandfather and my aunt...our three deer watching over our little dear. We both felt so thankful to God, and packed this moment of light away in our souls as we prepare to face some tough days ahead.

With love.