Entitled:/ adj. / Believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.
I'm not quite sure when the idea of entitlement took center stage in today's society. So often, we hear of the younger generations feeling "entitled", or of men or white folk being such simply by virtue of being born. No matter the frame of reference, the connotation always seems to be negative.
For example, you may say something that someone disagrees with, and they may cooly reply to you, "Well, you are entitled to your opinion." You can tell what they think of you then!
The only thing I would say any of us are entitled to in this life isn't even life itself, because I would argue that my daughter deserved to live as much as anyone else does. In death, Hailey taught me that the only thing we are truly entitled to is not so much our opinions, but our feelings.
I deserve to feel how I feel, because my experiences are mine and they are authentic to me. Take grief, for example. We all have a different relationship with it, which is part of why it is hard to come up with the perfect thing to say or do to comfort someone who is struggling with loss.
The truth is, you cannot tell someone how to be or not to be because then you are taking from them the one thing they are entitled to: their feeling of grief. You can stand beside them, and hold them, and love them and encourage them, but do not deny them their authenticity.
By the same token, while you are entitled to your feelings, do not give them away. So much of what I hear on TV or see online is written in a "click-bait" fashion. People shouting headlines to scare you or enrage you, or make you shake your head in despair about what the world is coming to. If you react to such emotional baiting, you are giving yourself over to fear, anger and sadness. You are allowing the writers of those headlines to own those pieces of you.
So this holiday season, my hope for everyone is that you feel entitled to your emotions. I hope you share with all of us pieces of your love, joy and happiness. I hope you are cautious about letting others steal you into a frenzy of negative emotions. And if you are trying to process through grief and loss, I hope you are surrounded by people who love you enough to love you through it, and at your own pace.
With love and a grateful heart.
